Beautiful Existence — Alaska Stems

Sunday morning musings...

I woke up this morning, after a much needed and greatly enjoyed night's sleep, to the sounds of snow plows outside and a veritable winter wonderland. I let the dog out, made a pot of coffee, started a fire, pulled up next to it and settled in to read the Nov/Dec issue of Orion magazine.

I turned to an article by Rebecca Solnit, 'The Most Radical Thing You Can Do', speaking to a conversation that Tim, Megan, and I, and more recently Justine, have been having on and off this fall. The idea, as Tim put forth, of being consumers of experiences and ever needing more - even as we believe so strongly in 'Buy Local' and reduction of emissions and carbon footprints. Not that I hadn't considered my negative global impact as a result of travel, but the extent to which I had thought about it began and ended, more or less, with the raw numbers - how much jet fuel I just contributed to burning etc etc. But the idea the perhaps indeed the most radical thing I can do is to stay home. To invest and experience and live and be in the immediacy and beauty of the land around me. The final paragraph of the article reads,

The word radical comes from the Latin word for root. Perhaps the most radical thing you can do in our time is to start turning over the soil, loosening it up for the crops to settle in, and then stay home to tend them.

Okay, I'm sold. Easy, right?

Not so much as I turn the page to the next article by Bill McKibben, 'Multiplication Saves the Day'. Knut's words ring in my head, excitedly discussing the possibilities and the implications of a multiplier effect - though in that case relating to moose response to increasing abundance of forage resources. McKibben posits that while we all can and should pat ourselves on the backs and continue to fight the good fight of individual responsibility to change - more efficient appliances, buying at the local farmer's markets, taking shorter showers - it is simply not enough. And it's never been enough .. individual decisions need to be cased within a larger context that can ring in the ears of the entire country. He says,

The trick is to take that 5 percent [who are deeply concerned and motivated to act on climate change at an individual level] and make them count for far more than 5 percent. And the trick to that is democracy.

The political mobilization of that 5 percent can ricochet around the nation and drive home federally mandated change - indeed this is how the Civil Rights Act came to be. In McKibben's words:

...the strategy was not to desegregate the country one lunch counter at a time - there were way too many lunch counters. Instead, you use the drama of the fight over one lunch counter to help drive the Civil Rights Act, which puts the full power of the federal government behind the idea...

As I turned yet another page I found myself enveloped in Ginger Strand's article, 'The Crying Indian - How an environmental icon helped sell cans - and sell out environmentalism'. My heart pounded as I read it (and not solely due to all of the coffee) ---

"How can we expect individual choice to right the wrongs of collective decisions?"

The Ad Council worked with Keep America Beautiful to campaign for the awareness and curbing of littering in the 1960s and 70s. Great, except that KAB is founded by the companies that worked so hard to move towards disposable packaging after WWII, given the cost effectiveness of one-way delivering (i.e. no refilling of soda bottles). The very idea that we, as a collective nation, were cajoled into this new way of being - my grandparents and great-grandparents were essentially convinced that to consume and discard is the best way to be a citizen of Our Great Country. From Strand's article this quote from economist Robert Nathan in 1944,

Only if we have large demands can we expect large production. Therefore, it is important that in planning for the postwar period, we give adequate consideration to the need for ever-increasing consumption on the part of our people as one of the prime requisites for prosperity.

How do we contend with such a marketing campaign on such a large scale - the damming of the Columbia to not only provide cheap electric, but to create aluminum plants for the war that then have heaps of product following said war needing a market? The idea that production off of the mass-production assembly line needs to be met by an equally ravenous consumptive energy - how truly and completely the tail wags the dog. We took that road. We have walked this walk for decades now, such that the idea to me of having to market the idea of disposability to the populace kind of blow my mind. In that revelation, however, is a deep vein of hope. We are not necessarily doomed to be hopeless consumers, mired in our individual crosses to bear - 300 pounds per capita annually of solid waste production.

But there again is that question,

How can we expect individual choice to right the wrongs of collective decisions?

I'm going to leave it at that for now, as I have to head into the office for a bit and contemplate other questions concerning citizen's science, water quality monitoring, Kachemak Bay and my place in the organization I have now joined. That thought, though, is well worth contemplation. As a proud member of the 5% McKibben calls forth, how do I move my individual choice into a collective movement, into the fabric of a democracy that has and will see remarkable power towards revolution and change?

Sometimes....

I know I'm on another poetry roll - no pictures, no personal life updates....But this, from today's Writer's Almanac, is just ....perfect.

A few quick things:
* no more halibut for me!!! Commercial halibut season ended on Saturday, Nov. 15th and with it my contract with the International Pacific Halibut Commission. I loved working for them, there are many parts of that job that were so funny and interesting and I'm thankful for the experience on the docks. That being said - yeah!!! This is Major Cause for Celebration.
* working the new desk job for Cook Inletkeeper in Homer, as their volunteer coordinator. Hell yeah. 40hr/week office job? Eh....we'll see. But I will get into the field a bit in the summer, and there's potential. Po-ten-tial.
* Kayak is still coming along, though on a bit of a hiatus while I wait for the skin to come in. That being said, I still need to finish up the coaming and make a paddle at some point.
* Justine is coming to visit next week!! Yeah!!!

Sometimes

by David Budbill

Sometimes when day after day we have cloudless blue skies,
warm temperatures, colorful trees and brilliant sun, when
it seems like all this will go on forever,

when I harvest vegetables from the garden all day,
then drink tea and doze in the late afternoon sun,
and in the evening one night make pickled beets
and green tomato chutney, the next red tomato chutney,
and the day after that pick the fruits of my arbor
and make grape jam,

when we walk in the woods every evening over fallen leaves,
through yellow light, when nights are cool, and days warm,

when I am so happy I am afraid I might explode or disappear
or somehow be taken away from all this,

at those times when I feel so happy, so good, so alive, so in love
with the world, with my own sensuous, beautiful life, suddenly

I think about all the suffering and pain in the world, the agony
and dying. I think about all those people being tortured, right now,
in my name. But I still feel happy and good, alive and in love with
the world and with my lucky, guilty, sensuous, beautiful life because,

I know in the next minute or tomorrow all this may be
taken from me, and therefore I've got to say, right now,
what I feel and know and see, I've got to say, right now,
how beautiful and sweet this world can be.

Living History


There's nothing particularly eloquent or grandiose that I want to say right now - I haven't the words to express the feelings that run through my head and my heart and my country.....laying on the floor, listening to Obama's acceptance speech with friends sitting around talking and a puppy playing. I don't necessarily believe that this is IT, we are heading for a revolutionary change that will fundamentally fix our deeply flawed system. However, I feel a shift a realignment a *possibility*
And it is that possibility that I can align myself with and hold on to, maybe even shed the slightest bit of cynicism....(but no promises there)

Possibility.

That is the theme that I'm running with for my personal life, my professional life, life life life, this beautiful and vast country & world. Lofty, yes. but if we don't have possibility, if there's no hope and no optimism ---- then what do we have? What's left?

I'm in. Let's do it.
(Hell Yeah)

Holy clamps, batman!

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Actually, I think I could have used a few more...well, at least some different kinds of clamps.  Sue and I agreed the "gun clamp" and the "big ass clamp" were the best...the others really just barely did the job.  Get together a bunch of thin strips of wood, a tight oval, wax paper, and a ton of epoxy and you get the idea -- thoughts on "there must be a better way" kind of float through your head.

What on Earth am I talking about?? 

The cockpit rim, or coaming, for my kayak needs to be built.  The typical way that is suggested is to build a long steam box and steam bend a ~6' length of 7/8" thick hardwood around a form that is oval-shaped .. the cockpit.  Steve and Ben suggested making it instead by laminating 1/8" thick strips of spruce around the same form with some kind of adhesive....a marine epoxy being the best bet all around.  Except, of course, for ease of use.

Ben agreed to help rip out the long and thin strips of spruce, and to help me in the endeavor to create an oval-shaped form that could be worked with.  This was a more tedious task than I had anticipated, largely due to some of my general woodworking ineptitude...that being said, I think I'm getting better and better as this project continues.  Thankfully the company was good, patience abounded, and I/we were successful...kind of.  I'm also working on my concept of "perfection" vs. "good enough" and being a little more picky.

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So the next day I went with the intention of epoxying.  I'm using System Three Laminate Gel (I think is what it's called), with something around a 10 minute set time.  The first roadblock was the wax paper - very necessary to not glue the clamps to the strips, strips to the table, table to the clamps, strips to the form, etc etc etc.  Found out (thanks, Mom!) that wax paper and parchment paper are indeed different beasts, but the jury is still out on whether or not parchment could be used for this task.  I decided to play it safe (as I typically due, I'm such a pansy - need to work on this?) and get me some good ole'fashioned wax paper.  Even with the strips, the form, the clamps, the wax paper, and the epoxy, I was unable to perform this task alone - although I gave it the old college try and found myself covered in epoxy and unsure as to whether or not a kayak actually even *needs* a cockpit rim.  I mean, really...

Sue, thankfully, called and offered her assistance!! Did she know what she was getting into?  Probably not.  But am I ever thankful? Absolutely! 

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Sue loves clamps.  In fact, she {hearts} them...

IMG_0242 Lots and lots and lots o' clamps

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My days of laminating are not over, though they're getting close.  It'll be interesting to go back tomorrow and see how much I glued to the table.  I fear that my wax paper job may have been a bit on the sloppy side...

She Floats!!!

Yesterday I did a saran test on my completed boat frame!  I was fairly nervous, to the point that I had a hard time convincing my body I needed to eat lunch.  It's been over two years since I've been in any sea kayak, and that was only a one week trip in Prince William Sound.  My friend Ben kept asking how my roll was...I kept insisting we not talk about it - or how difficult a wet exit would be from a boat with such a small opening.  Squeezing into this Greenland kayak is no small feat.  I don't want to try squeezing out of it in Kachemak Bay in mid-October. That being said, I had three people on the shore ready for the rescue, my PDF, and a full change of clothes just.in.case.

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Kaya was a little unsure of exactly what I thought I was doing.  She was definitely not going to be swimming out to meet me.  Pemba, Ben's dog, on the other hand was all about it.  I was pretty sure she was going to take me down by trying to jump on the boat - but crisis was averted. 

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The Gibson's, looking on.  They have provided me with all of the lumber for this project, ripped much of it to proper dimensions, and have graciously donated a small space to me at the sawmill to finish up this project, as winter has descended and my front-yard-uncovered workspace stopped being quite so productive.

It's baseball postseason and white-capped mountains are in view!

I can't believe it's already October.  The blustery winds, periodic rains, cold temperatures and clear skies drive the point home.  Not to mention the incredibly beautiful snow-capped mountains out my window, across the Bay.  Bringing it home even further will be later today when I switch back to my snow tires for a trip to Fairbanks starting tomorrow.  I remember vividly switching those tires over in May and stashing the studs in the shed.  Time flies...and here we are on the brink of another winter, baseball's postseason in full swing.  I'm a little disappointed that the Cubs were ousted so early, but hopefully today the Red Sox will sweep the Angels and move on to either the White Sox or TB...I'm kind of hoping for the Rays.

On the boat front:

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The keel and chines are done (though possibly the chines are set too high on the bow & stern pieces....), the bow and stern pieces created & pegged to the keel and lashed to the gunwales.

In order to join the gunwales and the stem pieces on the bow and stern, I chiseled out a recess and cut out a breast plate to lay across the three pieces on either end:

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Here are a bunch of little saw-cuts that were then chiseled out:

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Tadaa!  The stern breast plate. 

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She's coming along!!

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On other fronts, this is a picture from last week - there is far more snow now, but this is part of my view from my room...the snow is now blanketing the peaks, and there's a dusting almost to the bay.  Yeah!  If you haven't heard my excited rant, I'm planning to take up some backcountry skiing this winter - I can't wait to get into the mountains!

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Dogs are still happily roaming the beaches.....

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And we have something that semi-resembles autumn around these parts...fleeting as it may be, I'll take it.  Someday soon I'll post up pictures from the harvest party we had last night...indeed, I had people eating donuts off of strings in what has become known as New England tradition.  Did I make this up?  I know I've done it before, but perhaps it's not as ingrained as I've made it sound...at any rate, I almost can't believe that 10 people got down on their knees and attempted to eat donuts, no hands, faster than their peers.  Happy fall!

Birthday Backpackin'

August 30th was my 27th birthday!  Having spent much of my summer in Homer, on call and waiting to scan fish, it was solidly decided that I had to get out of dodge for my birthday.  (In case you aren't aware, birthdays are my favorite holidays of the year....I love the entire idea of celebrating individuals on their very own day!)  August 31st was the 24th birthday of my friend and old roommate, Jen!  So the two of us, our friend Rachel Todd, and my two dogs headed across Kachemak Bay to Kachemak Bay State Park for a 3 day backpacking trip in celebration of us and the wilderness. Yeah!

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The water taxi dropped us off at Humpy Creek, where indeed the Humpy's were running.  If you look at this picture of the Creek, all of the things poking out of the water are the backs of spawning salmon.  It was a veritable playground for the dogs, who paid for their rotten salmon buffet later that night with much puking.  They didn't seem too phased, but I thought it was disgusting.

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Jen and Rachel, on Saturday.  The 30th was an absolutely gorgeous day - nearly no clouds to be seen  and we were HOT (not just figuratively, either).  One of the few times this summer that I've felt really really too warm. 

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The dogs resting in the shade when we reached the alpine, on our way to Emerald Lake.

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P1010147 So fun, we found snow! 

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This is Emerald Lake, where we camped for two nights.  On the second day we hiked down to the edge of the glacier, and then back up to the lake.  At this lovely overlook, day one, we had stopped for picture taking and snacking before heading straight down through the alders and massive shrubs to the lake.  And being the cool kid that I am, I left my camera sitting in the tundra.  It proceeded to rain rain rain for the next two days, and by the time I realized where my camera was and climbed back up to retrieve it....well, let's just say I ordered a new camera and it's on its way.

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The result of the camera-debacle is that my pictures from this trip stop abruptly at the beautiful weather and this scenic overlook.  Alas.  Jen has more, and at some point I'll have to direct you either to her pictures online or post a few up here.  But for now, I think you get the gist.  Three days, great company, beautiful beautiful mountains and ice and snow, good hiking, a most fabulous birthday.

ever-changing, the shoulder season is a tough time to work outdoors....

It's true, I believe, that we have solidly hit what I consider to be the shoulder season.  Let's not be crazy and call it "fall", down here in SouthCentral AK it's far from the autumn that I dig into in Fairbanks or New England.  This is a much wetter, grayer season with some slow changes to yellow and red in the trees and the fireweed.  The Anchorage Daily reported last Sunday that indeed this was one of the coldest summers Alaska has seen in many many years.  Fantastic.  No serious complaints from me, though - the times of sun we've had have been lovely, and the rains have been sporadic enough to not make me feel entirely cooped up and crazy.  Boat building has been fairly slow-going, given my outdoors workspace and the daily rains that hit us seemingly whenever I have a spare moment to drive over to the boat....

However, some pictures for an update:

 18augpics.jpg (56)  this is the jig I used to start the bending in the ribs.  I was rather concerned about the use of spruce, as I hadn't heard great things about it as bending stock.  However, spruce is what I had, and so not truly knowing any better spruce is what I set out to bend.

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Here are the ribs, cut to size, pre-bending, making a beautiful circle.

 

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HaHa!!! Success!  A few of the ribs, mainly the for-most one, had to be re-bent 3, 4, 5 times as it kept breaking.  And then another rib (you can see it in the close-up rib view above) had to be re-bent the next day when I fully realized how wonky the shape was.  All in all, however, it was a much smoother process than I had anticipated! 

Boat Update!

Before I do a general summer-update, I will post up some pictures of my boat-in-progress. I just moved in the past few days, and was really hoping to get deck beams all secured in place beforehand. Come to find out, hand-cutting compound angles is a wee bit tricky, and I blew through quite a bit of wood before getting the hang of it. It's still taking awhile for each one, and not reading the directions correctly really didn't help at the onset.







A week ago (or so..) I cut out spreaders and end braces, leveled and adjusted everything, and now my boat really looks like a boat! The ends are doweled together, and she's taking shape...slowly but surely!

And maybe you'll notice that I'm no longer working within a carport for my woodshop! I've moved, and Megan's front yard area is now my make-shift boatbuilding workshop. So far I've been super lucky with weather - summer finally came!! But I'm going to have to bust out the tarp action, and work when I can when the sun is shining!

And the rain came down...

Day six. Or seven.  Possibly, come to think of it, eight nine or ten, of rainy days here in SouthCentral Alaska.  I cringe to think of summing up the time I've seen the sun in the past week.  The hours could be counted on one hand, and that time denomination is pretty optimistic. 

I have been wanting to post pictures from recent events, but my camera cord is hopelessly lost in my house somewhere.  I have searched to such an extent that I'm afraid that I had a "moment" and perhaps placed it in the freezer?  Or one of the dogs ate it.  Or it's gone to the same place my single socks go missing to...

So no pictures, but some updated thoughts from life in Homer these days.  There's a good chance that my camera cord *will* be uncovered, as I am presently taking a break from packing. Yes, packing. Yet again I'm moving myself, my dogs, our belongings, to another home.  Yeah! This time, we're moving in with Ms. Megan Murphy, to her fabulous home- such an exciting work-in-progress that I'm very much looking forward to be part of the changes and living amongst & contributing to the improvements I've been so impressed by!  Not to mention having such wonderful roommates (that being said, I will very much miss Jen and Blaine and our little house with big windows in the suburbs of Homer).

My current life plans include staying around Homer for the winter.  I just love rain and scanning fish *that* much.  Just kidding...I'm excited about hanging around a bit longer - it took me so long to warm up to this place (and I mean that extremely figuratively - have I mentioned how damned cold it's been this "summer"?), I'm not quite ready to leave yet. 

Last weekend, the last solid bit of sun I can recall, Kaya and Shaemus and I went down to Bishop's Beach to run at one of the super-low tides.  Once getting beyond the 1/4 mile immediately surrounding the parking area, there were no people.  No one.  This is a beautiful part of a seaside tourist community in Alaska, vs. Maine where I'm from.  The beaches, more or less, remain fantastically deserted throughout the summer...even when the sun is out, there isn't much in the way of sunbathing to be done, and even less swimming.  So as we were running down the beach, the dogs were playing in the rocks, the waves, tearing down the open sand - and I was running along, shirt tied around my waste and sun streaming onto my arms and bared torso (first, and probably only, time of the year).  The cliffs along the beach remind me so much of Peninsula Valdes in Patagonia, and my dogs running with abandon made me feel so blessed and overwhelmed with joy that I couldn't imagine it was time to pack up and move on at this point.  There are just too many runs left to do on that beach, with those cliffs, and these dogs.  Not to mention the quite-good skijoring to be done in the wintertime! 

I should get back to packing, but whenever I find that camera cord....my boat looks much like a boat these days!  I know, you can't wait, can ya?!

inspiration realized - kayak building...

so, as i just described in my last post, mom and i were across the bay and i was inspired. i need a boat.

okay. what i really need is a small skiff, with a small engine.  given, however, that i have little in the way of financial resources, and the skiff my dad said he'd give me is upwards of 3000 miles away (by land, lord knows how far by sea...), the kayak i'm fixin' to build is going to have to suffice for now.

so this evening i got up the courage to do some measuring, some more measuring, and then to make some serious cuts in the gunwales, which are still nailed together for symmetry's sake.

IMG_0422 i'm pretty pleased with my use of power tools...

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i already drilled the holes in the bottom where the ribs will go (pictures later - i don't have them handy), and so the job tonight was to shape the gunwales.  i.e. - cut off large pieces of wood.  ack!

i practiced a bit with the hand-jigsaw that i bought for $20 at a yard sale a few weeks ago.  palms kind of sweating with nerves, i cut into my boat frame and started the process....

mom came out and was a huge help - not only did she have good thoughts on clamping and tool-use, but she also did a bit of documenting:

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there's a video, as well, of me jig-sawin', but i'm going to have to figure out how to get it up and posted... more later, but the kayak building is on!

inspiration across the bay

  yesterday morning, mom and i took a water taxi across kachemak bay, to kachemak bay state park.  we stayed in a beautiful yurt, built by nomad shelters here in homer.

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i really loved this shelter - i think i could easily live in a yurt, and kaya and shaemus didn't seem to mind, either...

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the beach was gorgeous - we had a campfire and read by the water in the evening.  earlier in the day we hiked over to the grenwick glacier lake - soooo beautiful!  icebergs were brilliant blue, and the glacier was incredible.  on the way back we had a good bear-scare, with the dogs alerting us to a bear just off the trail in the woods.  i was on the ready with bear spray, and mom was securely fastened to my back.  we yelled our way down the trail, making sure that we were noticed and weren't surprising anyone...all was good, albeit a little shaky, and we made it back to the yurt safe and sound!

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dogs were happily roaming free, swimming in the ocean and amongst the icebergs, mom and i got to relax and breath in the deep smells of the forest (ahhh! big trees - i love it!), and all in all i felt inspired and incredibly pleased with the world. 

family time!

summer solstice has come and gone, and i refuse to speak anymore on this topic.  too depressing, as the weather here has not indicated to me, or anyone else, that summer arrived at any time.

my little brother flew down to anchorage last week, and hitched a ride down to homer to spend a few days with us - me, kaya, and the new dog shaemus!

 

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on monday we drove up to anchorage to pick up our mom, who flew in from boston to spend two whole weeks up here!  we surprised her, both with chris and two dogs! i think the dogs are growing on her, and regardless she's been a great sport. 

we then drove up to fairbanks and brought chris back to work with the alaska smokejumpers.  he gave us a tour of the base, where the alaska fire service rents space for the smokejumpers. it was *so* cool.  i was super impressed, and really excited for chris.

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katie let us stay in her cabin, and it was great to be back on army road - aside from the freaking swarms of mosquitoes!  holy camoly they seemed bad. maybe i'm just getting weak now that i have a damn-near-constant sea breeze keeping them at bay. 

we went goldpanning at gold dredge #8, up in fox.  it was so funny - i've never considered going goldpanning, but it was fun - i could see the potential for grabbing a pan, some food, and heading up north to try my hand....really it was just fun to try taking some pictures inside the old dredge (they'll mostly be up on my flickr site).  the tour was pretty weak, but i did learn that issac newton invented .... gravity.  it's a little known fact, but there ya have it. 

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i seem to be an old pro at this!

for the drive back to homer we were blessed with incredibly beautiful weather!  not a cloud in the sky, and denali was in all of her glory on the horizon. it was awesome!  we stopped at wal-mike's on the way home along the parks highway and found some unique treasures...

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we were going to stay in anchorage, but the pickin's were slim...we ended up passing on the 'arctic bed and breakfast':

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and moved on to indian, alaska, where we rented a little cabin on the side of turnagain arm - it was absolutely lovely! not to mention the store that was right next door:

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who says i am not able to show my mom a classy time in alaska? 

spring = whirlwind of activity!

april and may proved to be amazingly busy months this year!  it's hard to believe that the craziness of "spring" is already over, but that being said it's  nice to be able to sit for a minute, drink some tea, listen to npr and look back on the past two months.

major happenings (some of which have been previously mentioned):

two new roommates!  jen moved in the first week of april, coming from hawaii to work through the fall on island conservation in the aleutians.  kaya and i have someone to talk to aside from ourselves and we are very happy about this development in the household.

blaine just arrived last week, driving down from fairbanks after successfully defending his MS and graduating - he marched and everything! 

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here's a picture of blaine, in case you weren't familiar with him. we lived together in fairbanks a few winters ago, and he is a dear friend if not a little bit gross and out-of-hand much of the time.  robin (my co-worker with the IPHC), myself, and jen (the new roommate) ran the shorebird migration 5k fun run...jen came in 2nd for women, and i was behind her coming in 3rd. yeah!

my little (not-so-little, but certainly younger) brother flew up to homer from bend, oregon in april for a visit before heading up to fairbanks for rookie training with the alaska smokejumpers.  i'm incredibly happy and proud to report that my brother is an ak smokejumper now, having survived training.  i had an absolutely amazing time with him, and miss him heaps.  he and kaya had some solid napping time together while he was here.

emily visited shortly after chris left, and then a few days after she headed back to fairbanks, i drove up to anchorage to pick up my aunt patty!  it is always so wonderful to see this place, my current home, through the eyes of someone new.  similar with my brother, my aunt just couldn't stop exclaiming how beautiful it all was.  "WOW!" was pretty much the narrative of the trip.  that and, "oh! can we stop and take a picture?!".  it was heaps of fun, and wonderful to be able to spend so much time with my aunt, who i see and talk to so rarely! she put up most all pictures from this trip (including many many mountains in duplicate and triplicate) on

her flickr site.  i also have photos from this trip on my flickr site (link on the right!)

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after patty left, blaine showed up, i dumped my dog with him, and i headed off to new england for my five year college reunion at mount holyoke. 

it was incredible.

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things of note from this trip:

* new england in the summertime. i am always there in december, when it's crappy and cold and gray. yeah, well so's alaska but we have mountains.  but being there in the summer....oooh....i had forgotten.  this trip opened up the remote possibility of moving back to my home-region in the country.  that being said, how does one leave alaska?  this is a very serious question i have, and one that i would love to hear feedback on. do people read this blog?  what would be your thoughts on this?  where does one live, where do you look for work, what kind of sacrifices do you make and what is ultimately most important?  also, how hard is it to go back?

* i loved college.  a lot.  so i'm a big fat nerd. understood. but i loved it and i got to go back. and sleep in a dorm bed, and walk around my beautiful campus and breath in how grossly privileged and lucky i was/am and how happy i am do be able to always, always go back. at least for a long weekend....that being said, i was overwhelmed with the full understanding that my experience at mhc will never ever be touched by another similar one in my life.  living on campus, feeling so safe, and as if the entire world was at your fingers.  very good timing, as my student loans just went back into repayment and i best be remembering why i owe the government my soul.P1010104P1010121

* what fabulous people!!!  good friends, old acquaintances, all-around interesting people-dynamics.  i love it.  i talked for a long time with my roommate-for-the-weekend about her current MBA program at brandeis in boston, specifically in NGO management.  i am very serious in saying that i am strongly considering such a move...more on this later, perhaps, but deep interests have been sparked in the past year and it ain't about science-y sorts of stuff...

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i got to hang out with my mom and my grandparents while i was in western mass as well, which was wonderful! my mom is coming out to alaska at the end of june, and i'm really looking forward to the visit!

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here's my grandma, toasting marshmallows for s'mores on the grill. and a picture of my mom, from a hike we went on 4 years ago!  stay tuned for updated pictures after her trip north!!

emily and the band (the bac'untry bruthers) had arrived in homer while i was gone, and our household was joined by emily and emma, still lookin' for a livable place to kick it for the summer.  she's now off at her job training (job = naturalist at the wynn nature center. training = tidepooling across the bay. i'm going to puke. have i mentioned that i scan fish?)  and i'm watching ella-dog while she's gone.  it's kind of like a dog-daycare here, toys strewn about and a third dog that we picked up earlier on the beach (hannah's dog shaemus who we watched for the evening). 

i'm diggin my solitude for the next few days, however!  i have all of the lumbar to start work on my kayak...there has been expressed doubt, but all's i have to say is "whatever". yep, that's my comeback.

i'm using robert morris' book:

building_skin_frame_lg

from someone's personal website, here's a picture of what i'm aiming for, as far as the frame goes:

morris kayak frame

so far, i've built two sawhorses.

i think i'm ready .....

Life philosophies via poetry

I aim to live my life in the vein of this snippet from the poem, Ithaca by C.P. Cavafy (happy birthday to him today, b. 1863). Wise words best not forgotten (and very useful when setting out on a large and daunting project....stay tuned for more info on my foray into amateur woodworking!):

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge …
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.
Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.

springtime is here, i don't care how much it might snow....

it's april in homer - we woke up this morning to snow snow snow, but it cleared up by mid-day. of course the forecast for tonight says 2" of snow likely, and 100% chance of precipitation tomorrow (a mix of snow and rain). excellent.

but this time the unseasonal snowfalls feel like they may be okay. i might just make it through without losing a bit of my mind...

this has been a busy busy month so far! starting things off, kaya and i got a new roommate - jen. she works with island restoration - i.e. eradicating mammalian invasive species on islands, in this case rats out in the aleutians. she's a great roommate - i really don't think i could have asked for any better.
my lil' brother made an appearance shortly thereafter and stayed with us for just over a week before he headed up to fairbanks to start rookie training with the smokejumpers up there.
i can't even begin to describe how incredibly great it was to spend time with chris...i didn't get many pictures, but here are two that give a decent idea of how a lot of time was spent.
a few days after chris left, emily & ella drove a bazillion hours from valdez to hang out with kaya and i for the week. we had a great time - playing on the beach, eating good food, runnin' with dogs along the spit, and clammin'!

my one day off we actually left homer (i was pretty excited about this..) and headed north up to clam gulch and ninilchik to try our hands at diggin' for the ever-elusive razor clams. we had some issues with the tides, and some issues with needing food (issue resolved by eating gargantuan breakfast-for-lunch in kasilof), and some issues with digging/racing after clams. in the end it was determined that emily is a clam-diggin' fool (who would-a guessed?!) , and we were victorious with two clams - one for the each of us. i am really really quite excited for more clamming when the tides get low again. unlike clammer emily, i actually love to eat the things. perfect!

ella and kaya enjoyed themselves, though ella wasn't so sure about the bouys in the water nor the digging operation.




and on the way home, emily cracked herself up (and admittedly me as well) with clam puns.
these are our clams:
clamentine and clamella

we just hope they don't have clam-mydia

happy for the present moment.

this poem came today from garrison and the writer's almanac.

given the gray skies outside, and the solid chance of snow showers, i think it is well-timed as a reminder to look up and smile.

always. look up and smile.

both in the summer, and in the winter, and in all of the beautiful days in between.

"Snow, Aldo" by Kate DiCamillo. © Kate DiCamillo. Used with permission of Pippin Properties, Inc.

Snow, Aldo

Once, I was in New York,
in Central Park, and I saw
an old man in a black overcoat walking
a black dog. This was springtime
and the trees were still
bare and the sky was
gray and low and it began, suddenly,
to snow:
big fat flakes
that twirled and landed on the
black of the man's overcoat and
the black dog's fur. The dog
lifted his face and stared
up at the sky. The man looked
up, too. "Snow, Aldo," he said to the dog,
"snow." And he laughed.
The dog looked
at him and wagged his tail.

If I was in charge of making
snow globes, this is what I would put inside:
the old man in the black overcoat,
the black dog,
two friends with their faces turned up to the sky
as if they were receiving a blessing,
as if they were being blessed together
by something
as simple as snow
in March.

spring may be on her way...

(from today's Writer's Almanac. Thanks, as always, to Garrison Kiellor)

"Findings" by Tami Haaland, from Breath in Every Room: Poems. © Story Line Press, 2001.

Findings

Found what I think are the breast feathers
of a flicker lying in the melting snow
in front of the house. Found a crow feather
in Bozeman one spring and have kept it
in a vase on top of the dresser. Yarrow grows
where my son planted a root last summer,
and hyssop seeds have sprouted
with the wildflowers. Found spearmint
growing under the outside faucet
and tiny blue snails in the fallen apples
and black and white hornets stumbling drunk
around the rotting apples in August. The columbine
had eight inches of new growth in January,
and two summers ago found a red-shafted flicker
lying in the alley behind my house
with grass in its throat and wasps
crawling in and out of its mouth.
Its wing feathers were dazzling
and I took them, buried its body
in tall weeds, saved the feathers
in checkbook boxes in the dresser
beside a Norwegian pewter cake server,
a twenty dollar bill, some old ribbons
and a flat rock from the Marias.
His mate remained in the neighborhood until fall,
and this February a pair or flickers returned
to eat last year's sunflower seeds
at the side of the garage.
One spring, hundreds of crows filled a single tree,
their black wings shifting against dense bodies
and air, their voices calling across leaves
then reeling into space.
Saw flickers in the park last spring,
a male calling with such racket
my son covered his ears, and
from across the park, through twigs
and leaves pushing out from resinous shells,
a female approached, blended into bark
and clouds, and for an instant, opened to the sound.

ah, life.

sitting here and looking at the gray skies outside and the trees swaying in the wind, i have some reflections on life that i've been pondering lately.

one is that i've been feeling homesick and missing the community and the vast openness of fairbanks and the interior.  i've been here for all of three weeks, so patience my friend - i know, i know.  i'm also a bit of a home-body...when given my druthers on many nights i'd rather just stay in and hang doing projects at home than go out to the bar. it's true, as lame as that might be. it's also partially the winter-mode, which i'm slowly moving out of and stretching my legs, as it were.  it help immensely when there's blue skies and sun that emerge out of the darkness of dawn.

possibly as a result of feeling uprooted, but also something i know i've held for a long time, i feel a strong draw towards settling in and homesteading.  i want some goats and sheep, a big veggie garden, wildflowers. i want to wake up at dawn every morning with a huge list of chores to do, and a never-ending array of tasks to tackle in order to make things run smoothly and garner enough income to make it through another winter.   i want to keep my tools in good working order, to build furniture, to spin wool and knit by the fire in the dead of winter with dried flowers hanging from the log rafters.  i know it's awfully romanticized, but i like to think that i know the meaning of hard work and barely scraping by. and that i would like to have land, and build or fully renovate a home.  last night, first thing this morning, all day today that has been on my mind. and it's a recurring dream, one that maybe will someday come true.

in the meantime....

i'm training for the gold nugget triathlon in anchorage in may. and by training i mean learning to swim freestyle.  this is very very difficult for me, and i've been really enjoying the challenge!  the people at the pool are *great* and it's really fun to have a very solid task in front of me.  additionally i am SO HAPPY to be working my body again! 

this afternoon kaya and i went skiing up at mcneil canyon.  it was beautiful, snowy, windy and with incredibly dark and beautiful clouds rolling in.

homeandwork in homer here's a picture of homer from the lookout point on the ski trail kai and i were on.  it's a little hard to see the spit, but i promise there's a wee bit of land there stickin' out into kachemak bay!  the orange arrow points to where i work, at the end of the spit.  the blue arrow points to approximately where i live, about 2miles from downtown homer.

dog closeup_2 dog closeup_1

and this is the snow halibut i made yesterday while shoveling my driveway. it's an homage to the white side. 

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it fell over shortly after taking this second picture. i have some work to do before entering any snow-sculpting contests. but it's mighty fun, is all i'm sayin' is all.

and here we are!

alright. i just threw out a post on the trip south to homer.  and now, for the update you've possibly been waiting for, how is homer itself?!

#1. the town itself is really really beautiful. although nothing beats new england for a cute downtown area, so far what i've seen of homer i like a lot. and the spit reminds me very much of home, all shuttered up in the winter, teeming (no doubt) with tourists come summer.

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#2. i love the ocean. i can't state it enough...my heart swelled when i smelled the salt water, and when it's quiet at night i can hear the waves from my new house.  my other true love is mountains, and as you can see - here i get them both. excellent! kaya was initially quite apprehensive about the waves rolling in, but she quickly took to it.

seeing my dog running on the beach and in the waves was good for my soul and makes me smile to no end.

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#3. we have indoor plumbing!!!!  i feel kind of like i've wimped out, but i must say that i love taking a shower at my own home! yeah!!! and the kitchen has a great counter, which once i get stools will be a close-approximation to a breakfast bar! yeah!  (in case you didn't know, i've always wanted a breakfast bar...)  last night i did pee outside, just 'cause kaya had to, and so did i, and so there i went. this pleased me on the account of the fact that my neighbors are blocked enough from view that i didn't have to hide to pop a squat. yeah!  we have lots of moose in the 'hood, however, and so kaya doesn't get to be outside unattended. and really should probably usually be tied up outside...some of the tracks in the yard are *huge*. word on the street is that three large bulls call the area home these days. excellent. 

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we live exactly 2.5 miles from megan murphy, who lives directly behind the library and right near the base of the spit.  and is a wonderful wonderful friend, who took me out last night to see a local punk/rock/punkrock band, the matress ranchers, at a great bar - alices' champagne palace.  good beer, good people, good (rockin') music, all within a few miles from the ocean and my new home.